Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction

My mind had a revelation when I read this book. I always assumed about my husband's addiction. Thought I knew what to do and how to do it, and all the while I was getting more frustrated and angrier. Now, I see why and how it is all happening and happened. The traumas, the cycles, the behavior, ...the escaping into this illness and insanity.
I came away with a much better understanding and awareness. In this revelation came MY FIRST STEP towards my own healing and my role in all of it, as the spouse. I can honestly say; reading it helped me to "listen" my husband and be in counseling about the addiction. It isn't about me. I have no control over it. Yes my anger and pain is real...no doscounting that. And in turn, some people may disagree: but I have honesty, and boundaries for myself, and compassion within the boundaries for my husband.

All I have to say is if you are someone who feels they may have a sexual addiction problem or somebody who knows an individual who has a sexual addiction problem, this should be the first book to read! Out of the Shadows is the best source for insight on sexual addiction out there, its the sex addicts "story" so to speak. Addicts, spouses, friends, professionals can ALL benifit from the material outlined here in this book as well! I'll recommend it all day everyday.....

This book has some good information in it. It forces you to take a hard look at yourself as a victim or co-dependant to the addict.

Carnes does a great job of not only showing how destructive sexual addiction can be, but also how slippery the slope is so that the addict can easily fall into the illegal and extremely shameful without realization or intent.
Along with this dire warning, he also offers hope and shows that while admitting the problem may be humiliating, refusing to admit that the problem is there can easily lead to absolute devastation.

As I am currently in the process of divorcing a sex addict, this book was very insightful for me. It is still very painful to accept, but at least the book sheds insight into how and why this happens.